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PB Interviews: Diana Minshall @Dascha

Friday, February 13, 2009

Did this interview weeks ago…figure now’s the time to post! This is a long one, but trust me, worth the read. Happy Valentine’s Day inspiration!

{Diana at the store with a mini feather whip: “Sometimes when I get bored at work, I snuggle with it.”}

My first encounter with Diana Minshall was as this perky, preppy salesgirl who worked at the equally preppy and perky Sherman Pickey (hi, Ethan and Lindsey!). Fast-forward a year or so, and she emails to let me know about Dascha, the “boudoir boutique” where she’s working on a quiet street in Georgetown. I went in and basically had my mind blown. She and the (awesome) owners Ann and Analena talk about sex in the most refreshingly open and honest way. Take, for example, the day I walked in to check out their lingerie selection. In walks Diana’s male friend W, a regular fixture on the Georgetown social scene (I won’t say his full name in case that’s embarrassing) with a gaggle of girls. He’s asking her questions in a kind of boasting way, and she launches into this explanation of vibrators and then starts talking about water-based lubricant versus silicone-based lubricants. He asks, “can I go upstairs and try one out?” Without missing a beat, she says, “I can give you a sample to take home.”

At this point, I’m like, slack-jawed impressed with her and hiding behind a display of vibrating rubber duckies. Read on to find out how Georgetown just got a lot more interesting.

Tell me about working at Dascha. Must be different from Sherman Pickey! It is challenging every single day in a way that I have never been challenged before. Every day is different from the one before, and there is always something more that I can learn from each experience whether it be about retail, the sex toy or lingerie industry, communicating with others, or my own feelings about sex and relationships. The job is incredibly unique in the sense that it deals with something that is so important in our lives, yet so personal and private. I have had to become as knowledgeable as possible about all of the merchandise and products we carry so that I can offer the best suggestions to the customers depending on their individual situations. Since sex is such a taboo topic, our customers feel very relieved that they can feel comfortable coming into Dascha and talking to us about one of the most private aspects of their lives. We are part saleswomen, part sexperts, part therapists! There is nothing more rewarding than knowing that you have truly helped someone and made them feel better about themselves. This is the first time in my life that I have had a job where I get up every morning before work and genuinely look forward to what the day will hold.

Working at Dascha is obviously a huge change from working at Sherman Pickey, but so much of the basic job is the same. Thankfully, I had great bosses at Sherman Pickey that took the time to teach me how to merchandise well and deal with customers in a way that was professional and helpful. I can safely say that most of the retail knowledge I brought to Dascha came from my wonderful experience at Sherman Pickey.

What are top sellers? There are items that we are constantly selling out of and having to reorder, namely the We-Vibe and certain Lelo toys. The We-Vibe is an unbelievable creation, so it’s no wonder we can hardly keep it on the shelves- it’s the 2008 sex toy of the year, and the only toy designed to be worn during intercourse. It’s shaped like a little, curvy “U”, with two motors on either side. It’s completely rechargeable, water resistant, and made of really high end medical grade silicone. For years, sex toy designers and scientists have been trying in vain to make a hands free toy that provides G-spot and clitoral stimulation during intercourse without interfering in the process, and these guys just absolutely knocked it out of the park with the We-Vibe. As for the Lelo toys, our best sellers have been the Gigi, and the Iris. Lelo is a Swedish based company that sells some of the highest end toys on the market. They are all made of high grade medical silicone and plastic, they’re all rechargeable, and all crafted with the best motors in the industry. Most of them are made in feminine colors, and have very non threatening, unintimidating designs. The Gigi’s great because it can be used for external, clitoral stimulation, but it has a nub on the end that is great for G-spot stimulation as well. In addition, it makes a perfect anal toy. It’s very versatile, and you get a lot of bang for your buck (pun intended)! The Iris is another great toy that we can barely keeps on the shelves- it’s a little like the Rabbit in the way that it’s shaped, except that it’s rechargeable and has a few different design components that really enhance the overall experience and hit all the right spots.

You’re always preaching about lubricants. Most of our new customers are shocked to find out that there is a whole other world beyond KY and Astroglide. It’s incredibly difficult to describe how much better these lubricants are without experiencing them, but suffice to say almost all of our customers end up purchasing one as soon as they put a drop on their finger. It’s like realizing you could be driving a Maserati after driving a Honda for your entire life. For not that much of a price difference! In addition, most people don’t realize the differences between all of the various types of lubricants and what they’re optimally used for. Once they figure it out, they don’t usually go back to run of the mill, sticky, tacky lubricant.

Also, toy cleaner is one of the most underrated products out there- I sometimes feel like a pushy salesperson when I sell a toy and recommend that the customer also purchase x, y, and z to go with it, but toy cleaner is one of those things I will always strongly suggest. Even if the customer ends up not purchasing a whole thing of cleaner, we give them a sample so that they at least have some. If you invest in something that is going inside your body, it’s important to take care of it and use a cleaning product that is designed for that purpose. Soap and water is not!

Your favorites products? There are so many cool things in the store, so it would be really hard to pick out my favorites. But, we do have this great little lipstick vibrator that charges in your computer’s USB port. Great for the gal or guy on the go! As far as sex toy technology goes, I think that’s really cool.

Who are your customers? What do you wish more women would do to enhance their sexual experience? Our clients are typically people that are eager to learn and better their sex lives, be it with a partner or by themselves. I wish that more women would read the guide books. They are incredibly helpful in terms of exploring your body and figuring out what works for you and how to figure that out. It’s very important to know and be comfortable with what you like before you can do it well with a partner. Getting to know your body well is totally underrated but necessary. Also, the the importance of safe sex. We stock a wealth of products and try to encourage people to protect themselves and their partners. We even ordered these amazing condoms from Japan that are super thin but super strong, so it doesn’t feel like anything. And we have cute little compacts that you can hide condoms in so they’re not just floating around your purse at night.

Ummm, are yall hiring?! I am very fortunate to have two wonderful bosses that encourage me to follow through on all of the ideas that I have. It is truly amazing to work for two strong, independent women who think that I am so capable and want nothing but for me to succeed. There is nothing better than being around people that accept, nurture, and encourage my creativity. Both Ann and Analena are trauma nurses, so they’re incredibly clinical and professional in how they talk about products and deal with customers. They know about how every single thing in the store works and what it can do for your body and why it’s important- right down to the bath beads! When I first started I was pretty awkward at times, since this is a very new field for me. But I learned to channel that awkwardness into learning experiences, and now I can handle almost anything. It’s also pretty fun to sit in the store with them when it’s slow and talk about sex. I have so many questions and so many things still to learn from them. I don’t know any other job where, if you asked your boss about phone sex they would yell at you for being too lazy to read the phone sex book on the shelf and educate yourself about it as opposed to telling you to get back to that powerpoint presentation. We have a ton of fun but we always try to be professional about it- you have to in this industry!

How has working there changed your attitude toward sex, your body, being a woman? I feel like a completely different person. I have grown so much over the past 5 months that I barely recognize myself. First and foremost, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle working here, let alone telling my family and friends what I was doing. But for the first time in my life, I challenged myself to do something that I wanted to do and was interested in and passionate about, regardless of what other people were going to think or say. I can’t tell you how liberating that has been, and once I went down that path I was able to really start to grow into my own person and just be me. Little by little, I am becoming more comfortable with being exactly who I am and doing exactly what I want to do, without worrying that it might not be what my parents want, or what my friends are jealous of, or what my nonexistent future husband will want in a wife. Of course, I still want to get married and have a family, but the reason I want to do those things have completely changed. I want to do those things for the right reasons now. Being an independent person and having my own life and being able to support myself more and more each day has been the most liberating part of the job.

If I have learned one thing about relationships from working here, it is that communication and effort are hugely important. All relationships are hard work, and it takes a lot more than compatibility for them to succeed. Within romantic relationships, sex is a huge but often overlooked part of the relationship. It is something that both partners must work at in order to better the relationship. Most importantly, I have learned that having a loving, sexual relationship with your own body is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your partner. Sex with a partner should be about both people genuinely wanting to participate and enjoying themselves equally. That’s hard to do if you don’t even enjoy sex with yourself!

I am pretty comfortable with my body, but I have learned that not matter how you feel about your body, you should always respect it. It’s the only one you get, and it does a lot for you. Being comfortable in your own skin and making an effort to feel sexy and appreciate all that your body is capable of is crucial to having great sex. Likewise, you should always protect it.

And you’re starting a line of your own, right? I started my own line of custom garters that we now sell at the store. I sewed them all by hand (well, with a sewing machine), and they are made of beautiful silk ribbon with lace and beaded trim and embellishments. In addition, despite the fact that I have always hated school, I am toying with the idea of getting my degree in counseling or social work with an emphasis on sexual health in order to become a sex therapist. I’m not worried about what people are going to think of me anymore, I’m just so thrilled to be happy about all of the things going on in my life as a result of Dascha. I know that the people that care about me realize this and are proud of me for daring to choose happiness and personal success over social acceptance. It’s not always easy going so far against the grain, but it only takes one woman coming in and buying a custom corset and saying, “this is the only place I have felt beautiful and sexy in 8 years” with tears in her eyes to make everything worth it.

Finally, tell us about the lingerie! I love lingerie. It is so beautiful, so feminine, and makes you feel so sexy. [they carry Guia La Bruna and Myla London besides others...and both are couture-looking and so beautiful]. Even if you’re just prancing around in front of your mirror, if you’re wearing something that is as gorgeous as the pieces we sell here, it is nearly impossible to not feel good about yourself and feel pampered. I would love to get to a point where we can have a custom label of lingerie. Starting a Dascha line of lingerie that is beautiful, high quality, and flattering to both the body and the wallet is one of my goals for the next year.

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